I used to want it, too.

I tried to schedule myself like mad to attempt to create it. I was frustrated when I didn’t get it. The search for it kept me exhausted, overwhelmed, depleted, and disconnected from the present moment.

Can you guess what I’m talking about?

Control!

During a recent 1:1 session with a client, we discussed the fact that she had all the ingredients, but no recipe, for what she wanted to create in her life — a baby, a loving and passionate marriage, a career change, and a move across the country. She was finding herself extremely frustrated, stuck, overwhelmed, and unclear about her next steps.

She was so in her head about all of this that it became a huge jumbled mess. She told me, “Well maybe I’ll have the baby, then move across the country and have a long-distance relationship with my husband for awhile so that he can stay here and be with his son, and I’ll get this amazing job out west for myself, but then I’ll need some support with the baby while I’m at work, so….” and it went on.

I totally felt for her – I’ve been there, too! Trying to appease others and take them into account, making everyone, including ourselves, happy?! That’s a tall freakin’ order!

But what she was really saying, beneath it all, was that she wanted to be able to control the entire situation, and erase all the uncertainty.

Of course, we came up with a few other options for plans that felt much better for her, and concluded that the baby was the #1 priority right now, and that perhaps the joy and fulfillment and lessons the baby would bring into her life were exactly what she needed at this point in time, and could inform the other ingredients in her happiness recipe. This left space for her to re-evaluate later, as things unfolded and her life was completely changed by adding a baby to the mix.

After reminding her that all of these things won’t happen within a 1-week time-span, and that things would unfold naturally, I came up with the following metaphor:

Attempting to control your life is like riding a roller coaster and squeezing the handle bars really, really tightly to try to make it slow down.

Of course, you’ll only exhaust yourself and waste your energy trying to slow down the ride in this way! No matter how hard you try, you’re not the one who’s in control of the ride. There’s something greater — let’s call this your life purpose — that’s guiding you to where it wants you to go, and where you need to be, so that you can learn and grow and be ready for the next loop on the roller coaster.

This is exactly what happens when we get attached to a specific outcome and grip onto it for dear life. We get all tunnel-visioned, blinding ourselves from seeing the solutions that are right in front of our eyes. We get all future-trippy, and stop living in the present, ignoring the lessons that are being presented to us here and now.

Wouldn’t it be so much more fun to throw your hands up in the air, embrace the fear, let go, scream wildly, and laugh?

To release your death grip and attempt at resisting the now, waiting for the discomfort to be over, and start having fun, accepting the present moment for what it is, and choosing to see the beauty in the chaos, uncertainty, and incompleteness?

Wouldn’t it be amazing to witness solutions to your biggest stressors and challenges unfolding in front of your eyes?

Wouldn’t it feel more freeing to be open to getting what you deeply need instead of what you think you want?

Here’s the good news: I help ambitious women, who want it all, to do just that.

I promise you, it’s totally possible! It happens everyday for me.

I teach ambitious women who are over-booked and overwhelmed to learn a new approach to achievement so that they can experience a life of total freedom and fun!

Think: hands-in-the-air kind of laughter! I’d love to help you do the same.

Love & Light, 

Emily