sexy soulful success
Hosted by Emily Cassel
As we head into the month of July, and the heavy summer humidity and lethargy sets in, I’m feeling the call to turn inward, reflect, and write.
In many ways, the energetics of July are very similar to those of January, and it is a season of rest, despite all the external pulls, the social events, and the firey energy the summer season brings.
An inquiry that’s been inside of my heart and mind lately has been around the external benchmarks we set for ourselves as entrepreneurs (or generally ambitious women), and whether these are in competition with our intrinsic needs and desires.
So I invite you to pause for a second and consider this question: Is your business in competition with your life?
In so many ways, our businesses (or work) are what support our lifestyles, and yet, it seems that there is an internal conflict between working ALL THE TIME and the “hustle” we feel is necessary to meet our own goals, and the internal desires we hold for ourselves and the experience of our lives we deeply want.
Over the past few months, business has been FULL and very abundant, running a full spring session of Freedom Is Sexy + planning/preparing for my first seasonal celebration, Live Your Light, here in Charleston.
All of these additions to my business have felt incredibly aligned and have added a sensation of abundant service, fullness, + flow to my business. And for the most part, I’m feeling pretty badass reflecting on how well I was able to expand my own container to hold space for so many more women, while simultaneously taking care of myself and not over-working, over-giving, or pushing too hard.
Overall, it feels like a total A+!
But I’m not going to sugar coat things and tell you that everything in my life is perfect. So here’s the REAL story that’s happening behind the scenes, to paint a fair picture, which I feel like most women entrepreneurs feel is too vulnerable, personal, or messy to share, and they risk seeming “unprofessional” or “unqualified” if their lives aren’t 100% perfect all the time. But, as you know, the whole point of this blog is to create a new model of success, business, + leadership for 21st century women that honors our feminine genius, and that includes Vulnerability (with a capital V) and getting comfortable with uncertainty, discomfort, and change.
My boyfriend and I are figuring out how to co-habitate, and reach new depths and heights in our relationship, navigating a military relationship that involves him being gone 50+% of the time on classified missions. I LOVE the time alone, and I LOVE the time he’s here, but that doesn’t make the transitions between those two periods of time easy. I find that the transitioning is the most challenging part of it all, readjusting to him being home and not having 100% control of my time, space, schedule, etc. and reintegrating from being an independent woman back into an interdependent partnership.
Since getting a copper IUD in my uterus at the end of March, my body has been through the ringer, dealing with weird internal pain that you can only understand if you’ve had an IUD. I haven’t been able to move or eat the way I typically do to feel awesome in my bod, so there have been some challenges around figuring out a “new normal” when it comes to self-care and body love.
My intention in sharing all of this with you is that life ebbs and flows, and there are inevitably trade-offs that happen no matter how awesome things are going in any given area of your life. This is just the natural rhythm of nature, of our planet, and of life. Nothing blooms all year ’round or in every season, so why do we expect ourselves to be the same?
Especially as women, we are cyclical beings and operate in new rhythms ALL THE TIME. It’s almost as if each month as we cycle through our menstrual cycle, we are recalibrated. And then the seasons recalibrate us, too. And we are never the same as we were the day before, or as we will be tomorrow. It’s kind of incredible when you think about it, but can also be frustrating if you are unaware of what’s happening and trying to approach life + business from a more linear perspective.
I always keep this truth in mind when working with my clients, because what’s required for us as women to feel truly free, fulfilled, and in flow is that we constantly check in, and re-evaluate. There’s a fluidity about our success that can only be compared to that of mother nature.
But this approach to running a business or being “successful” in any way is so contrary to 99% of the messaging that’s out there in the personal development and entrepreneurial worlds, right?
The worlds that tell you that consistency is key, that you’ve gotta hustle, and that if you’re not burnt out and exhausted you haven’t tried hard enough to reach your goals, and therefore, you don’t deserve success.
The rhetoric that says you’ve gotta push through, over-give, over-extend, over-load, + out-do everyone else. The outer voice that then takes over your inner voice of wisdom, and instead tells you that success is a straight linear path, and you better follow the blueprint that someone else who has been successful created for you or else you’ll fail, and leads to a whole lotta self-doubt, fear, and scarcity.
This also gives way to the belief that if you’re not making 6-figures in your business, you haven’t yet learned “the secret,” you’re not doing it right, or you should be doing better because everyone else already has hit the mark and you’re falling behind and becoming irrelevant.
Out of everyone I know, including women who are running 6- and 7-figure businesses, I personally find a lot of peace in knowing that I have one of the most abundant lives I know of, in every sense of the word.
The vision I had for my life when I started this business in December 2014 is now REAL… and I’m not yet making 6-figures.
And I’d also be okay if I didn’t ever make 6-figures, as long as….
If I can be of service to more women, and travel the world, and live in my dream location, and walk on the beach in the morning, and eat gorgeous locally-grown food, and spend time with friends, and not work myself too hard, and actually have energy to do things, and have a loving relationship with my dream man… how would “making 6-figures” actually improve that?
I want to clarify that I’m not by any means saying that desiring to make 6-figures in your business isn’t a worthy intention, because it totally is, and I too am working toward that intention with my own business.
But the motivation behind my pursuits has never been to make 6-figures for the sake of making 6-figures. It has always been to FEEL a certain way, or to be able to EXPERIENCE certain things in my life.
And to my own surprise, I’ve been able to FEEL abundantly fulfilled and do all the things I said I wanted to do “when I made 6-figures” well before actually making 6-figures.
While I’m being candid, I should also mention that I believe the whole “When I have more money, THEN I will…” belief cycle is a fallacy for the most part (assuming your basic survival needs are met).
The truth is that money is just energy, and having more money (or more energy) will enable you to do more of what you’re doing right now, within your current belief system, unless you start shifting that belief system NOW. Money is a tool for living your values, and if your values are unclear now, it will be even more murky when you have more money.
WHY? What do you want to feel or experience as a result of making 6-figures (or fill in the amount of money you desire to make)?
And once you know the answer to that question, what are 3 things from that list that you can actually get creative about and start doing RIGHT NOW? ...Like, today. Or even in this very moment.
There’s no reason you should have to wait to live an abundant, fulfilling, and flowing life. You don’t have to EARN that. You already ARE that. Your nature, your true essence, IS already that and always has been.
Your task, then, is not to SEEK it outside of yourself (and as a result, keep seeking forever), but to CULTIVATE and REVEAL those sensations right now, no matter what your present circumstances may be.
I’d much rather have a life that is infused with magic, flow, freedom, abundance, full expression, contagious joy, and full acceptance than exhaust myself, compromise my life and the present moment, and self-destruct my relationships in order to make an amount of money that feels empty.
Remember, it’s not ALL about the result, as we so often hear with common one-liners like “the pain is worth the gain”. It truly IS about the journey. We spend the majority of the time in the journey, so do your best to make it as enjoyable and abundant as you possibly can.
If you’d like to receive some support around creating a sustainable feminine business AND an abundant life all around, let’s chat.
Click HERE to schedule a (totally free) 30-min Sexy Soulful Strategy Session with me so we can hop on the phone and discuss your needs and desires!
Love + Light,
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