I have to admit that I’ve never considered myself a true “journaler.” I tend to have trouble following through with a new entry every day or x amount of days per week, etc. 

But today, in my attempt to clear the clutter from the corner that’s been there since I moved into my boyfriend’s apartment, I came across a journal that I had REALLY wanted my grandfather to buy for me in a little boutique in Cape May, NJ on one of our annual summer beach trips in August of 2008. It is one of the most beautiful notebooks I have ever seen – the cover adorned with pink flowers and green leaves, and each page has a different floral design inside a consistent silhouette in the middle and sides of the pages. I actually happen to know that the exact date of purchase was August 15, 2008, because the first day I got it, I really wanted to prove to him that it was a good purchase and that I would follow through with my intention to do all of my big picture life planning as I prepared for my college application process, and wrote my first entry on that day while in the passenger’s seat of his Honda Element. Mind you, I was only 16 at the time – which in itself reminded me what my innate strengths had always been. 

As I went through the journal, I found my personal mission statement.

I found the rough draft of my college application essay.

I found a few poems that I had written. I found the unfinished list of “The Big 101” things I wanted to accomplish in my life (some of which I am glad to be able to check off today!). I found notes from various workshops, seminars, retreats, and speeches I had attended over the years. I found a business plan for an international clothing store from 2009.

I found the goals I set for myself to achieve from 2008-2009 – which were strategically set SMART goals, and included a list of a minimum of 3 things for each of the following categories for each goal:

Goal:

What I get:

If I don’t, I miss out on:

Steps to take:

My grandfather is no longer here on earth with me, and he can no longer buy me beautiful floral notebooks for me to plan my life out – but he can still give me guidance, and his spirit will never cease to exist for me. His spirit is within me, as I embark on my journey in life. He has given me so many gifts, for which I am so grateful. I would never have guessed, on August 15, 2008 that this would be a gift that I’d be looking back through at the age of 22, just 6 years later, without him to call and tell of my revelations. He died suddenly of a massive heart attack on May 17, 2011. 

He was the epitome of a superior man, and I am so grateful to have had his influence, and to still have his soul living within mine. For all the times I forgot to say thank you: Thank you for being a beautiful example, teacher, and source of inspiration for me. I am truly blessed by your giving nature and beautiful soul. Thank you for forever guiding me, protecting me, and only allowing the best for me. 

Thank you for everything, Gramp <3

Emily